About once a month I have a horrible nightmare that we left Jackson somewhere. The scenario is usually something like this...
We decided we need to go somewhere or do something and that Jackson will be fine by himself, where ever that might be. While we are gone I begin to realize what we did and I worry frantically about what he is doing and if he is alright. This happened just a couple of nights ago...
This time there was a bus we rode on everyday. For some reason Ryan and I decided Jackson could just ride around on the bus while we did whatever it is we needed to do. At this point it turned into a complete nightmare where I realized my toddler might get off the bus and get hit by a car. How will he know what stop to take?!?! What were we thinking!!
I find my recurring nightmares very interesting and I often wonder what they mean. We have never left Jackson over night and I see there might be some anxiety in that. Although, I want to be completely fine with it! Usually in my dreams I have forgotten him somewhere and that hasn't happened yet. Either way, I always remember the terrifying feelings I have during these dreams.
Anyway, back to present day reality...
We decided to enjoy another beautiful January afternoon at the big park near our house. We were quickly joined by an adorable little Hispanic boy who decided he really wanted to play with Jackson and be his friend. There were several other kids and parents there but it didn't take me long to realize that no one was attached to this little boy. He was dressed well and Jackson was having a ball playing with him. After half an hour of no adult paying attention to this child I started getting pretty concerned that he was there by himself. This kid had to be no older than 4. He wasn't that much taller than Jackson and he liked playing with him so I can't imagine him being older than that.
I kept asking him where his parents were and he would never say a word. This is the first time living in Houston, that I really wished I could speak Spanish. Eventually he started talking to me like crazy--I just couldn't understand a word.
I was going through all sorts of scenarios! Ya know--the terrible things you hear about in the news. One of my theories was one of my greatest fears from my dream--he is lost and his parents don't know where to find him.
Or maybe he was kidnapped and then got away and now he is lost...
He didn't seem distressed by any means--he was perfectly content to just keeping playing with Jackson and talking to me!
Then it hit me--
OR maybe his parents are just playing soccer 2 fields away and are letting their 4 year old play away on the jungle him all alone. What if he fell and hit his head??
After 45 minutes a man in a jersey ran half way over from the soccer field, looked around, and went back to playing. I noticed this after I finally asked the little boy "Are your parents playing soccer?" And he shook his head.
Even after knowing there was an adult in the park that he belonged too, I was appalled that there was no supervision for this little guy! I mean--Am I being crazy! Is it okay to let your 4 year old play over a football field away without really paying attention to him at all?! I know right now my 2 year old would get hit by a car or drown in the toilet in the bathroom. But maybe 4 year olds are much more advanced and can handle creepy strangers on their own!
Even after knowing he had a parent there, I still wanted to call the police. I wanted to teach that Dad a lesson. I wanted him to know that it was neglectful and that he is lucky he has such a good little boy and that he is still around.
I did walk the little boy to the soccer field. I looked over at the man I had seen in the jersey and asked if it was his kid. Of course he ran over and said thank you--as though I was helping him. I probably just ruined his game.
Let me know if you think I am being crazy and this was really no big deal! What would you have done??
i would have have the same thing you did...last time we were at the park i was getting livid that this poor girl about 2 1/2 or 3 who had obviously peed herself wasn't being looked after- like the whole time we were there. finally i walked over to a group of adults (on the other side of the park) and politely asked if this little girl belonged to anyone b/c she needed help. someone jumped up from a very intriguing conversation and said "oh thanks". there were a ton of other people at the park, not to mention she could have fallen in the river if she wanted. i know every mom ends up with a moment of being nutzo but seriously- it isn't the '50s anymore. i kind of still regret not yelling at the lady but thats probably not the christian thing to do :)
ReplyDeleteOn the contrary...I had to leave my third child in the cart outside the family bathroom of Target because I had to wipe #2's behind. It was probably for 30 seconds - I couldn't take the cart in the bathroom because it had "unpurchased goods" in it.
ReplyDeleteSome old lady, in that 30 seconds, reported me to the Target worker as I had left a child alone there.
Somewhere in between being OVER cautious and UNDER cautious has to be met.
I think in some cultures, it's a cultural thing to not discipline or watch their kids like you or I might.
There's a little boy that is vicious in Nursery...and the parents don't discipline him. In fact, the nursery leaders kicked him out because his parents won't teach him to not bite, kick, pull, push, or punch.
I probably would have done about the same thing as you did. At least by you talking to him, you were able to keep an eye on him (and protect him from someone who might not have been so safe). Even though we were going crazy inside your head wondering where his parents were! It was good of you to take him back to his dad at the soccer field, even if it did ruin his game. 4 year olds are more advanced than 2 year olds, but not enough to be by themselves at a park. Too many things can happen to them there! I definitely wouldn't let my 4 year old play at the park by herself unsupervised, even a few football fields away. I have to be able to see her constantly. I know that she is pretty independent, but I would want to be able to get to her quickly if she fell, or was approached by a stranger, had to use the bathroom, or whatever. I had something similar happen to me at a park once. Rachel was playing with a little Hispanic boy who had also wandered away from his parents. His parents were at a picnic table with their back turned away from him/us. He and Rachel played for quite a while together, running around on the grass all over the place. (I followed them around while pushing Nathan in the stroller.) Then Rachel had to use the bathroom, which was clear across the opposite end of the park from his parents. I told him to go back to his family, but he followed us anyway. He followed us across the park, and behind the wall that led to the bathroom door. He was completely out of sight from his parents for several minutes. Afterwards, he followed us back to the park, and his parents were still not paying any attention to him. They probably didn't even realize he was gone. I never said anything to the parents, but sometimes wish I would have. Although I don't really know what I would have said anyway. I personally would have been terrified if I couldn't find my child for as long as we were gone. And I would have been upset if Rachel left somewhere with a stranger. But the situation did allow me to teach Rachel a little bit about strangers though.
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